Sleepy Saturdays: Drive Recklessly

Hello netizens and welcome to another addition of Sleepy Saturdays, a quick injection of weekend humor. This week on Sleepy Saturdays I give you an impossible situation: Would you kill a person if you knew they would cause the destruction of the entire world? And had a time machine? This video addresses all those problems and more. Enjoy!

Amazing. Raises some great questions.

Happy Saturdays!
Satueday
-Maxim

Sleepy Saturdays: What Makes Me Cry

Dawson from Dawson's Creek.Hello everyone, and happy Saturday! Typhoon rocking its way through Japan at the moment and I find myself right in the center. Fun! I’ll have more on that later this week, but I just want you all to know that maybe a little spies boyfriend had something to do with it. REVENGE!

In this edition of our weekly, too hung over to read a lot, blog posting, I would like to show you a simple video. Not just any other video, this video made me cry. Now a lot of you are saying, “That isn’t funny. What the fuck, Maxim?” Well, let me explain. This blog was founded on the principles of self-humilation and emasculation. If you don’t find emasculating me funny, there’s something wrong with you.

Normal people will look at this video, think its pretty corney, and that would be the end of it. Me on the other hand, have not been able to escape from the grasp of this video since they day I first saw it almost three years ago. It has burrowed into my heart and soul so deep, I dare say I may not be free of its grasp until the day I die. So do what you will, call me a bitch, a pussy, or any other slur about my manhood. I’m going to take it in stride, in fact I encourage it. And who knows, maybe it will pull at one of you cold bastard’s emotional heartstrings as well. Ok, so enough blabbering, here’s the video…

So that’s it. I cried like a baby. Even after all the countless viewings over all these years, when I watched that video again while writing this, tears came to my eyes. It’s some strange mix of Whitney Houston and lions that leaves me crawling for a tissue box. Again, I know some of you are heartless sons of bitches with no souls, but I want those of you who cried while watching this to speak up and show themselves. Be a man for gods sake. We can console in each other. Cuddle session?

Anyway, enjoy your weekend. It’s Saturday, wooo!

-Maxim

Sleepy Saturdays: Vacation

It’s Sleepy Saturday, and we’ve reached the fourth and final post of the all week blog theme on my vacation (Here are parts 1, 2, and 3 in case you missed them). The end came so fast. I’m almost not ready to let it go. However, we must move on to other pastures. We cannot stand idly by as the world moves on. We must  continue, we must rise, we must triumph!

So to mark the end of this beautiful theme on vacation, I give you pictures and movies from some of the best vacations ever had by man.

Laying by truckWhat a great vacation spot! Don’t you remember being on the road with your parents, seeing something on the side of the road, and having to stop and check it out? What better than a tipped over coal truck! Free futons and pillows to boot! Sweeeeeet.

Awesome vacay picThe worst? Don’t you mean… the best? How can you put that label on sailing through the tropical ocean on a fucking dolphin!? Not only that, but the bitch in the front is like, “Hey, look! No hands” and shit. Just try and beat that. Try.

Vacation Coffee ComicThe age old tale of forgetting something incredibly important that you had to do while already on the vacation. This specific example would definitely call for the cancellation of said vacation and quick return back to Shanksville.

The GriswoldsLast, but not least, we have this joyful bunch. Which one of you doesn’t know what this photo is of? I loathe you, by the way. For those who do, congratulations. Of course, it’s a photo of the Griswolds of National Lampoon’s Vacation fame; hands down the best vacationing family of all time. Proof:

Don’t fuck with Chevy Chase.

And that wraps up our week! I hope you enjoyed the vacation! Tune in next week for some brand new Madness!

Catch you later, folks!

-Maxim

Sleepy Saturdays: Comic-Con

Comic-Con LogoWelcome loyal readers to another edition of Maxim is too hung over to write aka Sleep Saturdays. Today on Sleepy Saturdays we celebrate the beginning of a great American icon, Comic-Con in San Diego. And the best thing about Comic-Con? All the awesome cosplay action. Here are some kick ass cosplay pics for your pleasure. Don’t work Handgelina too much now!

Black SpidermanI feel like spiderman needs something a little…more.
SpartanSpartan man definitely has enough of it. Go give spidey some pointers.
Block warriors.Am I stupid for not knowing what these guys are? Still awesome. I love being in cardboard!
Some Star Wars DudeThis guy makes me wet.
Storm TrooperMy hero. Don’t mess.

So far all you comic lovers out there, make the world a better place by dressing up as you favorite characters and strutting your stuff. Doesn’t even have to be at a convention. I guarantee wherever you go you will be extremely popular. The best part about it is I will love you for it.

Happy Saturday!

-Maxim

Sleepy Saturdays: Drinking Strange Liquids

Hmm…..I wonder whats in the glass? Looks pretty good. These beautiful kiwis sure look…happy…scared? What could the mystery liquid be?

Oh, okay. It’s made from this you say? Strange white liquid. Interesting. I like many white liquids… Milk…calpis….glue. Those women are drinking something like that, right? What’s that? It’s milky but it’s not milk? No, it couldn’t be….

WHAT!? Horse semen!? Those three girls are drinking shots of horse semen? You say it tastes like custard? Sweet jesus.  People do a lot of strange things in this world, but the guy who first tasted his horses semen and discovered it tasted like custard is not right in the head. Though what can you expect, people sleep with horses, the next logical step is drinking their semen.

This is all true by the way.

Link to article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/22/horse-semen-shots-custard_n_882053.html