Squiggly Lines Around the World: Canji Edition

Squiggly lines are everywhere. I’m using them right now. You’ve probably used them too. They’re very convenient. But in my world travels, I’ve seen that different countries use different kinds of squiggly lines. Now, you may be asking yourself, “Why the hell would they use DIFFERENT squiggly lines? Our squiggly lines are just fine…and more American!” That’s a great question. I’ve been researching for days on the subject and I think I’ve found the reason. Most of them are anti-American, anti-Western hippies. Now I have been living in one of these countries for a while now, and I think I have begun to decipher some of their squiggly lines. If we could all try and learn some of their squiggly lines, I think we could really stick it to them. I will share with you some of my findings today.

Country: J-Land, Squiggly Lines: Canji (pronounced CAN like coke can, and JI like gee-whiz)

Now it has been said that there are over a million Canji in J-Land. From the outsiders perspective it may seem like a pretty daunting task to learn them all!  According to legend, they made the first Canji by just using the shape of the object to write the squiggly line. Neat, huh? Thanks to me I have found three of the simplest and most important Canjis. I will teach them to you today.

Canji #1

Canji number one is one of the most important squiggly lines in J-Land. It’s quite simple!

Remember, they based these squiggly lines off of real objects. What do you think it means? Take a guess!

You’re right! It is the Canji for person!

Canji #2:

Here is Canji number two. Equally as important as number one.

I know, it is a lot harder then Canji number one. Don’t get scared off! Just remember that they used REAL THINGS to make their system of squiggly lines! Do you have it?

Right again! It’s the Canji for mouth.

Canji #3

Here it is, the last Canji. Actually, it’s two for one! One of the most important in all of J-Land.

Have you figured it out yet? By now you should be a pro!

What could it be?Tetris of course!

Wow, great job! It’s the Canji for Tetris. Isn’t it amazing that they had the forethought to create a squiggly line for Tetris, even though it wouldn’t be created for thousands of years?

That does it for todays edition of Squiggly Lines Around the World. Remember these next time you’re in J-Land (and China!), and really stick it to those hippies.

Until next time!

-Maxim

The Beginning

This is it. The beginning. My blog. Let me just inform you that I have started this on a complete whim with no idea of where this will be going. Will I even continue writing through the week? As with most people, that’s probably based on how popular and awesome it becomes…which I must say is very, very likely.

The question: Can I even do this?

The answer: Probably not, but my heart says YES!

Let’s break this down.

Reasons why I can:

  • Extreme short term confidence: I usually start things with this amazing confidence that I will be able to succeed and excel above all others. This includes when I get into drunk fights against opponents much larger than me.
  • An inordinate amount of free time: This is a doozy. The down time I have at my job allows my mind to wander to the abyss of my imagination. This is where I get many of my ideas, including the one where I decided I want to be some sort of rock star.
  • Interesting interests: This may be a piggyback off the confidence thing, but I think what I like is interesting and other people should like it… or learn to! Not to come off as a self-centered jerk or anything but… yeah… I REALLY DO THINK THAT!
Chicken confidence

I'm the one on the right.

Reasons why I can’t:

  • I can’t write: You may have noticed by now, but I can’t write for shit. Excuse the language. If I could write, I would be able to replace shit with some other magical, less offensive, word to express my feelings. I’m more of a verbal wordsmith. I run my mouth off and piss people off. I can’t do that in writing! For most people this would be a deal breaker… you can’t write then don’t. Keep to facebook. But not I.
  • I give things up quickly: Remember when I said I have lots of confidence in the short term? Well, that runs out awfully fast. An example: Yesterday I wrote a song. I thought this song would make me an immediate rock star. I got home and realized I couldn’t even play my own song on the guitar… and my voice doesn’t sound like Jack Black (that’s the way I sung it in my head).
  • I’ve got no friends: Pretty self explanatory.
  • It won’t become awesome.
  • It’s slightly embarrassing.
  • Boobs.

Woah, got super negative at the end there! What happened to all that confidence?! Anyway, logic states, based on my proven method of reasoning, that I shouldn’t do this. But I’m gonna.

Stay classy and keep reading, blogsphere. To end, one of the ultimate confidence songs of all time… from the Karate Kid with Mr. Miyagi… “You’re the Best Around” by Joe Esposito.

-Maxim