The World Will End

In my previous post I mentioned something about some sort of something song that I wrote. Well, even though I can’t play the guitar or sing for shit, I still think it is a piece of lyrical genius. The song is still missing a bridge and a one verse, but I thought I would share it. It would be a crime not too. Again, I must advise all people reading the song to read it silently with the voice of Jack Black in your head. Words in all caps are there for emphasis. Use your Jack Black head voice to scream those parts.

The World Will End

by Maxim

It’s a nice nice sunny day

All the animals come to play

With those fuzzy wuzzy tails I want to touch!


One comes up close to me

And he says one simple thing

The world is gonna end… you’re gonna DIE!


It starts off slow at first with

*The thunder and the lightning

But the next thing you know

You’re  running from RABID BEARS



The world will end

There’s nothing to lose

We all need help

We’re so fucking screwed


People running scared

From all those rabid bears

Do not realize that it’s a trap


The bears have formed a pact

With the dogs and the cats

And soon that pet chiwawa has your HEAD


You thought it was a good idea

To put Snickle fritz on youtube

But little did you know

It has led to your doom.


The world will end

There’s nothing to lose

Those dogs are pissed.

We’re so fucking screwed


Bob right down the street

Told me something neat

He said that there’s a way to save the earth!


He says we must go on a quest

Into the hornet’s nest

And kill that snickle fritz, YES, one and for all!


That chiwawa’s a beast

Don’t let his looks deceive you!

He’ll tear out your heart

And turn it to poo!


The world will end

There’s nothing to lose

Snickle fritz!!!!!

We’re so fucking screwed



Thats all I have for now. Makes you wanna step on a couple of chiwawa’s heads doesn’t it? Still got to figure off how to kill of snicklefritz…that bitch.

Cya around, bloggies.


The Beginning

This is it. The beginning. My blog. Let me just inform you that I have started this on a complete whim with no idea of where this will be going. Will I even continue writing through the week? As with most people, that’s probably based on how popular and awesome it becomes…which I must say is very, very likely.

The question: Can I even do this?

The answer: Probably not, but my heart says YES!

Let’s break this down.

Reasons why I can:

  • Extreme short term confidence: I usually start things with this amazing confidence that I will be able to succeed and excel above all others. This includes when I get into drunk fights against opponents much larger than me.
  • An inordinate amount of free time: This is a doozy. The down time I have at my job allows my mind to wander to the abyss of my imagination. This is where I get many of my ideas, including the one where I decided I want to be some sort of rock star.
  • Interesting interests: This may be a piggyback off the confidence thing, but I think what I like is interesting and other people should like it… or learn to! Not to come off as a self-centered jerk or anything but… yeah… I REALLY DO THINK THAT!
Chicken confidence

I'm the one on the right.

Reasons why I can’t:

  • I can’t write: You may have noticed by now, but I can’t write for shit. Excuse the language. If I could write, I would be able to replace shit with some other magical, less offensive, word to express my feelings. I’m more of a verbal wordsmith. I run my mouth off and piss people off. I can’t do that in writing! For most people this would be a deal breaker… you can’t write then don’t. Keep to facebook. But not I.
  • I give things up quickly: Remember when I said I have lots of confidence in the short term? Well, that runs out awfully fast. An example: Yesterday I wrote a song. I thought this song would make me an immediate rock star. I got home and realized I couldn’t even play my own song on the guitar… and my voice doesn’t sound like Jack Black (that’s the way I sung it in my head).
  • I’ve got no friends: Pretty self explanatory.
  • It won’t become awesome.
  • It’s slightly embarrassing.
  • Boobs.

Woah, got super negative at the end there! What happened to all that confidence?! Anyway, logic states, based on my proven method of reasoning, that I shouldn’t do this. But I’m gonna.

Stay classy and keep reading, blogsphere. To end, one of the ultimate confidence songs of all time… from the Karate Kid with Mr. Miyagi… “You’re the Best Around” by Joe Esposito.