Tag Archives: facebook

I Have Come Up With the Best Personality Quiz EvAr

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Okay, you guys all have experienced something like this. You open up Facebook, or your email, or whatever you use to communicate with people, and see that all of your friends have sent you something like this…
First Four Word Personality Test

What the fuck? Happy face? Oh no, wait… It’s a trap! Personality quiz?? Crap, you read the instructions! Now you to take it because it says If you don’t send it to 50 other people you’re going to get your junk chopped off! So you spend 10 minutes looking for a god damn word and then when you finally find one, it’s something like, “peaceful”. Then you think “Peaceful!? What the hell? I’m not peaceful! I was just about to throw my computer right in the face of my girlffriend in frustration cause I couldn’t find frickin’ a word for ten minutes!”. Then you think, “This quiz is complete bullshit, we need something better!” And that’s where I come in, your faithful genius here at Maxim’s Madness.

I was tired of seeing all my friends either getting their junk chopped off, or getting answers that were complete bologna all the time. So I decided I was going to devote all my time from now on into developing the best darned personality quiz of all time. And after years of painstaking research, I finally did it.

Behold the awesomeness.

    THE FRICKIN’ BEST PERSONALITY QUIZ EVAR!!! Omg!

😉

Note: You’ll probably need a pen and paper, unless you are some kind of genius.

1. Write down the first four things your eyes are drawn to in this picture.
A little girls room
2.For the first and third thing on your list, note the first letter. For the second and fourth thing, note the third letter.

3. Find the most awesome book in your house.

4. Add up the number of letters in the words of the four things you found. Whatever the sum is, go to that page in your awesome book.

5. Keeping in mind the letters taken from step two, start reading the page. When you find an word that starts with one of your letters, write it down. Anything goes, even pronouns and particles! You should have four by the end.

6. Try to make a sentence with your words, if you can’t, your journey has ended. You are bound for a miserable life full of upset and betrayal. Now get out off my site. If you were able to make a sentence, good for you! Move on to the next step.

7. Think about your sentence for a bit. Work it out in your head. Like most clues from the great beyond, the meaning won’t hit you all at once. Think about it for a few days. Let it seep deep into your mind. It give you the most profound insight on your soul you’ve ever had.

8. SEND THIS TO TEN PEOPLE OR I WILL PERSONALLY EAT YOUR GENITALS! ❤

Here's what I got…

My four things: deer, jacket, divider, bed.
The letters: D, D, D, and C.
My book: A Feast for Crows by George R.R. Martin (It was the closest one to me at the time, but its still awesome!)
The page: 20
The words: dragon, do, coin, did.
The sentence: Did Coin do Dragon?

How erotic… I wonder who Coin and Dragon are. I feel like this is a sentence midway between some heavy gossip by two teenaged girls. But I don't even know who these two people are… I guess I'm…eavesdropping! Yes…I'm eavesdropping on two people! And who eavesdrops? Oh, shit! I'm a frickin spy! The quiz is telling me I should be a spy! Just like I’ve always wanted wanted. I’m so happy.

What did I say? 100% accurate, and scientifically provable.

Try it out! Tell me what you guys got!

8 Journalists Dead After Attending Facebook Event

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On Friday, July 8th, Mark Zuckerberg hosted a Facebook event where they announced a partnership with the global internet calling platform Skype. Now Facebook users can video chat with anyone on their friends list via Skype without having to install any software on their computer. Sounds great, Zucky! Go get back at those freaks at Google! However, strange events have taken place that have put a dark shadow on the whole announcement. Today, days after the press event, eight journalists who attended the event were found dead in their homes due to apparent suicide. However, all signs showed that these men and women were all happy and all together normal people. So what was the cause for these untimely deaths? It has police stumped. The only thing authorities have to work on is the assumption is that something happened during the conference. Something sinister. Something evil.

The event started normally enough. The Zuckster came out in his classic t-shirt and genes sporting man-boobs. Everyone was happy. A buzz filled the air. The lights dimmed. The presentation began. Little did they know that some were in for a deadly surprise. Here’s what the presentation consisted of, a lot of this:

And this:

Some of this:

And of course, this:

The immediate reaction from the press, due to the large amount of log and derivative graphs, was predictable:

“omg! I’ll just read about it later. This is like water torture.”

“Im gona play solitaire if he doesn’t get on with it”

“Someone needs to bump him to get him to stop saying UM”

“After this, I need an UM detox program..”

“Logarithmic graphs? Jesus Christ.”

“Why did I get an invite to this?”

“*sigh* just say it already, we don’t care about this filler stuff,”

“Get to the point!”

“Zzzzzzzz.”

All seemingly normal reactions to a very, very, very boring presentation. But some other comments of a different sort also started popping up:

“@Facebook event. Can only see #black.”

“Zuck’s eyes are burning with emerald hatred. My heart is on fire.”

“Want to die. I offer my soul to the harbinger.”

It was the consensus of most of the press that Zuck Zook was never a good presenter; after all, he is just a big nerd who started Facebook to get laid. But after the event, as most people just went on with their lives, others followed a darker path. A path to suicide. No one knows why these 8 people decided to take their lives. All we know is that they all attended the conference, and the conference was extremely boring. Could they have been bored to death? Perhaps we’ll never know.

-Maxim