I Have Come Up With the Best Personality Quiz EvAr

Okay, you guys all have experienced something like this. You open up Facebook, or your email, or whatever you use to communicate with people, and see that all of your friends have sent you something like this…
First Four Word Personality Test

What the fuck? Happy face? Oh no, wait… It’s a trap! Personality quiz?? Crap, you read the instructions! Now you to take it because it says If you don’t send it to 50 other people you’re going to get your junk chopped off! So you spend 10 minutes looking for a god damn word and then when you finally find one, it’s something like, “peaceful”. Then you think “Peaceful!? What the hell? I’m not peaceful! I was just about to throw my computer right in the face of my girlffriend in frustration cause I couldn’t find frickin’ a word for ten minutes!”. Then you think, “This quiz is complete bullshit, we need something better!” And that’s where I come in, your faithful genius here at Maxim’s Madness.

I was tired of seeing all my friends either getting their junk chopped off, or getting answers that were complete bologna all the time. So I decided I was going to devote all my time from now on into developing the best darned personality quiz of all time. And after years of painstaking research, I finally did it.

Behold the awesomeness.



Note: You’ll probably need a pen and paper, unless you are some kind of genius.

1. Write down the first four things your eyes are drawn to in this picture.
A little girls room
2.For the first and third thing on your list, note the first letter. For the second and fourth thing, note the third letter.

3. Find the most awesome book in your house.

4. Add up the number of letters in the words of the four things you found. Whatever the sum is, go to that page in your awesome book.

5. Keeping in mind the letters taken from step two, start reading the page. When you find an word that starts with one of your letters, write it down. Anything goes, even pronouns and particles! You should have four by the end.

6. Try to make a sentence with your words, if you can’t, your journey has ended. You are bound for a miserable life full of upset and betrayal. Now get out off my site. If you were able to make a sentence, good for you! Move on to the next step.

7. Think about your sentence for a bit. Work it out in your head. Like most clues from the great beyond, the meaning won’t hit you all at once. Think about it for a few days. Let it seep deep into your mind. It give you the most profound insight on your soul you’ve ever had.


Here's what I got…

My four things: deer, jacket, divider, bed.
The letters: D, D, D, and C.
My book: A Feast for Crows by George R.R. Martin (It was the closest one to me at the time, but its still awesome!)
The page: 20
The words: dragon, do, coin, did.
The sentence: Did Coin do Dragon?

How erotic… I wonder who Coin and Dragon are. I feel like this is a sentence midway between some heavy gossip by two teenaged girls. But I don't even know who these two people are… I guess I'm…eavesdropping! Yes…I'm eavesdropping on two people! And who eavesdrops? Oh, shit! I'm a frickin spy! The quiz is telling me I should be a spy! Just like I’ve always wanted wanted. I’m so happy.

What did I say? 100% accurate, and scientifically provable.

Try it out! Tell me what you guys got!

17 thoughts on “I Have Come Up With the Best Personality Quiz EvAr

  1. I was going to take the test but I don’t understand how you add up letters. What do you think this says about my personality?

    Your mother

  2. Smiley Test: Dimp. Prey. Peace. Yaln.

    Fucking awesome. That sure sums up my personality.

    1. Strange pink thing. Reindeer. Strange pink thing. Pouffe.

    2. SSIU (I probably did that wrong)

    4. 15 + 7+ 15 + 7 = 43 (I probably did that wrong too)

    3. Catch 22

    5. Interested subversive used Spain

    6. Spain used interested subversive. (So what if that doesn’t make much sense? Does Spain make much sense? They just voted in Rajoy for God’s sake.)

    Meaning. The Spanish banking is using the interested subversive, the ex-Fascist Rajoy for their own nefarious ends. Down with the financial oligarchy! Occupy your local intersection! Preferably not at times of heavy traffic.

  3. Damn. What does it say about my personality if I got anxiety at step 2 and was unable to complete the quiz? By the way, according to the smiley, I’m passionate, sweet, job, and outgoing.

    • Hey Anna. Thanks for worrying. I had been in a bit of a slump, writers block plus lack of motivation, but I’m getting my mojo back. Stay tuned!

      Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  4. I had to add another word to my sentence.

    Son dwelled dead at night.

    Sounds dark and thoughtful.
    Ha I’m not “dark” but the dark is cold. I guess I can be pretty cold to people. Sometimes……….Pretty decent.
    (Can you belive I got these words from the holy bible?)

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