No Science or Religion? What Would You Think?

Our worldview is based on many things. And you can count on the fact that either science or religion has messed with your head and influenced your ideas about stuff. For example, most people know that the earth revolves around the sun, and that the sun is a giant nuclear fusion machine composed of hydrogen and helium burning at millions of degrees. You learned that once in school, right? Okay, maybe you didn’t, stupid, but even without science we would have religion. Everyone would be taught that the earth is the center of the universe, and the sun is some god, or a big lamp created by god, or something about the gods, and god god god, whatever! There’s no way out! You either have one or the other!

So imagine a world without science or religion, or anyone else for that matter. Just you, on some land mass, with a bunch of animals, and all you have is your imagination. What would you think everything was? I mean, the human mind comes up with reasons to explain everything, even if they’re completely false. What would you think the stars were? The sun? The moon? Mountains? Lighting? I took a shot at it.

Here’s my ignorant self trying to explain some stuff to so called “enlightened” persons:

Sun Tarot

The thing that lights my day. The thing that warms me. The thing that hurts my eyes when I look at it. The thing that allows me to kill ants with my magnifying glass. I’m referring to the giant bright thing in the sky, that is Raktooku. Yeah, that’s where my ancestors come from. It’s like an island or something. But some evil ancient monkeys started a forest fire on it like a billion years. As you can see, it hasn’t stopped burning. We all had to escape to this green place, which I now call my home. Ever since I figured that out, I kill monkeys whenever I see them and burn them in fire.

Moon Tarot Card

So you remember those evil monkeys I was talking about? Yeah, they live on that other big ball in the sky; the bright silver one. That place is called Shaloopa. Shaloopa sucks big time. That place used to be pretty cool and green like my house, but the monkeys are just so stupid and evil that they ate all their trees, burned all their houses, and drank all their water. They left nothing behind. That’s why they keep coming down into my house, trying to start stuff. I’m just like, I’m so gonna burn you up.

Those sparkly things? Oh, I love them! I look at them a lot when Raktookoo floats away. Sometimes those stupid flammable monkeys get in the way on Shaloopa, but I just make it disappear with my thumb magic. You don’t know thumb magic? Yeah, I can take my short stubby finger and cover all of Shaloopa. Disappears just like that! Pretty awesome, right? Back to twinkly sparklies. That’s an easy one. One day it was raining and I had to go into a cave. I started a fire, and all the rocks around starting shining! I guess you could say it was my “Ah, hah” moment. So yes, my house, Raktookoo, and Shaloopa are in a big shiny rock cave. I am afraid, however, that if I don’t kill and burn enough monkeys, they will break our great cave and we’ll all be destroyed. That reminds me, I should go kill some more monkeys.

Okay, so I turned into a pyro monkey killer. Hey, it could happen to you! What would you turn into with your mind a blank blob? Think about it. You may surprise yourself. Damn monkeys…
Fire breathing gorilla

11 thoughts on “No Science or Religion? What Would You Think?

  1. You’ve just explained the origins of every religion in the world. I think my imagined world would have had a chainsaw monkey. Chainsaw monkey is really funny until somebody loses and eye…

  2. Great question to pose! I look at the Greeks and Romans for my best guesses. They couldn’t explain why the sun traversed the sky, so surely it was Apollo and his chariot! etc, etc.

    Or we can go with lowest common denominator: UFOs. It was aliens. I swear. 😛

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