I wonder how many people nowadays even remember this gelatinous ball of acidic goo. A single bacteria genetically mutated in space, comes back to earth to wreak havoc on us humans. The blob chills in its victims, on ceilings, even traveling through drain pipes to get what it wants, which is to quench its insatiable hunger.
It is the blob, and we sat down with it to ask some questions in this exclusive interview.
MM: So I just want to start off by saying I’m a big fan of yours. You know when I was young, I would always be afraid that you would come in through the vent above my toilet when I was taking a dump.
Blob: Heh, heh, heh. Yeah, that’s classic. I was into that for a while. Not so much anymore, after the lawsuits.
MM: You know a lot of people think that you kill indiscriminately, but that’s not true is it?
Blob: No man, like all monsters, I got certain tastes. I mean, I do absorb my victims into my own being, so I got to choose carefully.
MM: So we got a lot of questions from our readers. A lot of them want to know how if you’ve ever gotten close to anyone? Or do you just eat everyone before you get that chance?
Blob: No, I go out with a bunch of guys in the neighborhood once in a while for a few drinks. That group has noticeably gotten smaller though. It’s hard to control my urges when drunk.
MM: I see. So we haven’t seen you around lately, what have you been up to?
Blob: Well, as you know I was mostly destroyed back in ’88. I’ve had to keep a low profile after that, so I opened up a small cat cafe in Portland, Oregon. I’m doing quite well for myself.
Blob:Yeah, it’s all the rage in Japan. People come in and there are just a bunch of cats everywhere. People can order drinks and hang out with all the cats. It’s getting quite popular.
MM: There are actually places like that? I’ll have to stop by sometime. Big cat fan. So Blob, I have to ask you, you’re an acidic pile of goo with a taste for human flesh, how do you stop yourself from killing everyone and everything in site?
Blob: I have no comment on that.
MM: Hey, my assistants gone! Blob, you didn’t!
Hope you enjoyed our interview with the famous Blob! And if you’re ever in the Portland area, don’t forget to check out his cafe, Witty Kitty Witty.
Until next time,
Wonder if Mr. Blob is into organic …
He is! He volunteers at a community garden around town. In exchange they give him some of their fresh vegetables!
Cat cafe? I need to check this out!
It’s quite awesome. Cat hairs in your beverage make it extra nice. You can discover all sorts of new cat flavors!
I hear everything tastes better with cat hair in it.
Depends on the type! Some cat hairs taste like boogers, while others taste like lemon.
I thought he was very well spoken, cordial and quite informative for a blob of acidic goo, as you say. And no ego! That’s rare for a successful actor. 😀
Indeed! It still has an eating problem though…
Pingback: Testicular Deformations and Why Sex Ed is Important « Necrotic Hijinks
Pingback: Little Treasures | Maxim's Madness
Blob is scary