For those of you living under a rock, perhaps one of the most exciting scientific discoveries of the 21st century was reported the other day. Scientists injected genes from several different animals into a feline egg. The boring part is that some of the injected genes come from AIDS resistant monkeys, with the intention that perhaps these genes would help fight off AIDS in the cats…whatever, not important. The interesting part is that they also injected genes from a certain type of awesome jellyfish. This very special type of jellyfish glow when ultraviolet light is shined on them. Again, they put these genes into the cats. So… glowy jellyfish genes + cats = glowing green cats? A joke? No, it’s serious. The experiments so far have been quite successful, the cats fucking glow. There are real pictures out there of glowing green kitties. And it doesn’t stop there; scientists are planning to continue the research in the effectiveness of these genes on the cats in the future. So we are experimenting on cats. And it totally rocks. Until now I could safely say that experimenting on animals was wrong. What good can out of testing shampoo on a monkey? But this? It changes everything. Imagine the possibilities. Glowing humans. Glowing penis. Real light sabers. What we need now is more cat experimentation.
I can see why a large percent of the population may not want to do this for cuteness reasons, but come on… haven’t any of you seen Cats vs. Dogs? Cats are evil. I feel like I am one of the few people in the world who understands this. And now that cats have been found useful to experiment on, I see no problem to let them regain their honor by voluntarily giving themselves in for the goodness of all mankind. What harm did a little glowy action ever do to anyone? I implore everyone in possession of a cat to turn it in to your local authorities so we can begin the experimentation as soon as possible, for the good of the world.
Now that we’ve established that experimenting on cats is ok, and you’re saving mankind by giving up your cats, we must look for ways to move the research forward. Glowing cats are incredible, but we must branch out from just glow, to other amazing potential augmentations. The question is, what should we do next? Should we go for multiple limbs, or laser eyes implants? The possibilities are endless. Love to hear your ideas.
We are entering a new age, ushered in by our scientific prowess, and cats. These are very exciting times. Let’s not keep the human race in the dark ages, the age with no glowing cats and humans. We can move out of the dark, and into the light! Experiment on more cats! Let’s do it!
Soon we will have the PETAcats insisting that all products have a disclaimer that “No cats were glowed in the creation of this product!” Let them glow. The owls will be able to find them!
We all would be able to find them. If we were ever stuck on a deserted island with only cats we could hunt them!
Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want one.
Of course I would. Maybe then I’d be able to find it.
Oh, snap. Mad props to you for that one.
As if cats weren’t creepy enough. Now they freaking glow?
I wonder, can I get one of these cats? Halloween is right around the corner and I need a creepy accessory to go with my witch costume.
Find a stray cat, give it to your local scientist, and tell him you want the glow treatment!
Oh what a boon to long-suffering email/facebook users.
Fire. The Wheel. Gunpowder. The Atom Bomb. Glowing Cats. Which one doesn’t belong? Obviously, the wheel; the rest are things I like to play with.
You saying you didn’t like the wheel and the stick toy?!
You sick freak.A little glowing never hurt anyone?I could strangle you right now.I hope one of your glowing cats scratches your eyes out.
Yo,this is tight. This second talkin’ about they see me glowin’
They hatin’. Totally funny! I think it is.
They seeme glwin’
They hatin’ Really funny second cat. Hahahahahaha……..lol
Hahahahahhahaha……..i agree wif u Kiara. Do u git that phrase.
Boy that was sure really funny. The phrase they see me glowin’
I would. Dont think I wouldn’t.